One of the things that is the most difficult to deal w/is the comments from our parents.......take these things into consideration the next time they say something insensitive....
We expect as parents that they should know the right thing to say and support us.......but if you take away the family connection and just see them as people you might not even like them.....in my case this true w/my father......he never understood my illness and he saw me as weak.....his comments were hurtful
What did society teach him/them about pain, mostly it is was suck it up, don't talk about it, deal w/it in private......their era wasn't about talking and sharing...it was about sweeping things under the carpet
What is he/she like as a person....again take away the fact they are related to you.....do you act more the parent??? do you sometimes wonder why they don't respond like adults??........some people don't mature, just because they are in full grown bodies and have survived to a ripe age, doesn't mean they have matured mentally.......adding in what society has taught them about how to deal w/issues and poof you have a parent that says mean, hurtful or unsupportive comments......learn to distance yourself and you will be able to cope w/them a little better.
If you happen to be a parent now, you have that perspective of knowing we don't have all the answers, neither did our parents....we now have medical advances and support groups....we don't sweep as many things under the carpet ....we are bringing attention to our pain.........things will be better for the next generation, or better yet a cure
I am not a parent, nor are either of my parents alive, but as a chronic migraineur, so much of what you say resonates. I too grew up with parents who also held the philosophy that you should always put on a good face no matter how much you are hurting. Although this was something I learned to do, I have spent a lifetime unlearning this trait and as a chronic pain sufferer, especially one with an "invisible" disease such as chronic migraines, it is even more important to not sweep our pain and stark reality under the rug as you eloquently state. We need to be authentic and open so that we begin to let people understand just what this disorder is and how it affects every facet of our lives. Bravo on a great post!!
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